What is Teen Dating Abuse?

Dating abuse is defined as the physical, sexual, psychological, or emotional violence within a dating relationship, including stalking. It can occur in-person or electronically, and might occur between a current or former dating partner. Unhealthy relationships can start early and last a lifetime.  Teens often think some behaviors, like teasing and name calling, are a “normal” part of a relationship. However, these behaviors can become abusive and develop into more serious forms of violence. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2017

Who is Affected by Teen Dating Abuse?

Dating violence is a serious problem many young people are facing. 1 in 3 teens in the US experiences physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, (loveisrespect.org) and teens have some of the highest rates of sexual assault across age groups. LGBT teens are particularly vulnerable to dating abuse, but it’s important to know that dating abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, orientation, race or ethnicity, family background, or income level. Teens are particularly vulnerable, as they may not be able to access legal or support services without the help of a parent or guardian.

Power and Control: Use this helpful tool if you are unsure whether or not your relationship is unsafe. Check out the list below and see if your partner has ever said any of these things to you. If so, this may be a sign you are in an abusive relationship.

Red Flags – Dating abuse may include but are not limited to, if your partner:

• Expects you to spend all of your time with him/her or to “check in” with and let them know where you are?
• Acts extremely jealous and/or possessive?
• Treats you with disrespect/put you down?
• Pressures you to send them sexually explicit photos or texts?
• Puts down family/friends, your dreams, ideas or goals?
• Loses his/her temper frequently over little things?
• Makes threats to hurt you/leave you/hurt your pets/destroy property/and or threaten to kill themselves if you do not do what he/she wants?
• Insists on knowing your online passwords and/or demand to look through your phone or social media accounts?
• Plays mind games or make you feel guilty?
• Refuses to take responsibility for his/her actions or blame them on drugs/alcohol, his/her boss, parents etc.?

Likewise, if you:

• Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
• Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
• Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
• Feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you?
• Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?

If you are worried for a friend’s safety in their relationship, you can make a difference by knowing what is helpful and what is hurtful:

• Do not blame someone for what is happening or put them down for caring about someone who is choosing to use controlling behaviors.
• Believe them.
• Trust that they are the experts for themselves.
• Offer support and resources.

If you observe someone using controlling or abusive behaviors:

• Name the behavior and say it isn’t okay.
• Do not threaten someone. It might endanger their partner.

What is Human Trafficking?

Human trafficking is compelling individuals into labor/commercial sex work through force, fraud or coercion, for the economic gain of the trafficker. It also includes when any minor in commercial sex work is a victim/survivor of human trafficking. Sexual exploitation is the abuse of a position of vulnerability, differential power, or trust to profit monetarily, socially or politically from the labor or commercial sex work of another.

Who is Affected by Sex Trafficking and Exploitation?

Anyone can be a victim of sex trafficking, regardless of gender, gender identity, race or ethnicity, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic status. Certain factors put young people at a higher risk of being victims; LGBTQ youth and youth who have experienced abuse, neglect, homelessness, involvement in children services, or trauma are more likely to be trafficked.

Who are Traffickers?

From the Polaris Project: Sex traffickers use violence, threats, lies, debt bondage, and other forms of coercion to compel adults and children to engage in commercial sex acts against their will. Under U.S. federal law, any minor under the age of 18 years induced into commercial sex is a victim of sex trafficking—regardless of whether or not the trafficker used force, fraud, or coercion. The situations that sex trafficking victims face vary dramatically. Many victims become romantically involved with someone who then forces or manipulates them into prostitution. Others are lured in with false promises of a job, such as modeling or dancing. Some are forced to sell sex by their parents or other family members. They may be involved in a trafficking situation for a few days or weeks, or may remain in the same trafficking situation for years.

Red Flags for Trafficking May Include:

• A controlling and dominating partner who the victim has to frequently checks-in with
• Sexually explicit profiles on websites
• Prepaid/multiple cell phones; key cards
• Frequent STIs, pregnancies, abortions
• Unusual tattoos/brandings/scars
• New clothes/accessories/gifts with no explanation; unexplained shopping trips
• Unexplained injuries, bruises, cuts, etc.
• Hyper-vigilant or paranoid behavior
• Secrecy about whereabouts; unaccounted-for time; vagueness or defensiveness in response to questions or concerns
• Late nights and/or unusual hours

A Sex Trafficker Can Be:

• A supposed professional modeling agent, photographer, or filmmaker
• An older boyfriend or partner who pretends to be loving but passes their victim on to other people for sex, or to other traffickers
• A relative or family friend who wants the victim to “give back” to the family

Other Methods of Recruitment:

• Violence and force
• Kidnapping
• Seduction and coercion
• Peer recruitment (not necessarily malicious/intentional)
• Internet enticement through chat rooms or profile-sharing sites
• Initial employment go-go dancing, stripping, or working in a massage parlor

Keeping Yourself Safe

The internet is one of the most common ways traffickers recruit and control their victims. Keep these tips in mind, particularly on the internet:

• Only add people you know personally to your friends list.
• Do not give out personal information, even if it is requested; a sex trafficker can use your contact information, address, information on your family and personal life as a means of control.
• Seriously reconsider sending nude or explicit photos of yourself, especially to people you do not know.
• If somebody advertises themselves as a professional, look them up online. If they don’t look legitimate, they’re probably not.
• Don’t ever share your password; use a different password for different websites.